We don’t like criticism; of course it is innate that we crave only those that please the ears. In that case, most of the time, honest feedback seemed like an unwelcome guest. But feedback, be it appraisal or critical, is crucial to your individual growth and of your business’. The following steps will help get the most out of an honest feedback for your own good.

I just went through a surgery. Before the doctor operated on me, he patiently told me things that I should be expecting, the length it will take the operation to succeed and the amount of time for recovery. All the while I was not actually listening. I was in denial, thinking that things would be a lot easier than I was told. But it was not long after that I start realizing I was practising selective hearing nor did I ever want to listen to unpleasant advice.  When it comes to business, we come to terms with different feedbacks from all different people. Whether it is deliberate or not, from time to time we ignore some important feedbacks simply because they are unpleasant to our ears. So how exactly are we going to address this?

We know exactly the importance of receiving feedbacks, we know that it is instrumental for our growth; nevertheless we keep forgetting those principles. We do selective hearing at times, listening only to those that sing music to our ears. But we all know that whether we like it or not, we have to entertain all forms of feedbacks at all cost, all for our own benefit. Let me show how to extract the most honest feedbacks from people:

So how do you get real feedback?

 Ask for it

If you really want an honest feedback, then ask for it, plain and simple. Explain that an honest feedback is necessary so you could properly evaluate your growth and progress. Tell them that if there is ever a loophole, you want to be the first one to know.

 Be sincerely open to it

People will not readily give you an honest feedback until they know and feel that you are honestly ready for it. You need to make them feel that you really need the feed in all its form.

 Make your objective clear

Your objective for asking the feedback must be loud and clear, and you should be able to convey that properly to them. Do not ask vague open ended questions, because it will get you nowhere, rather, be specific.

 Cover everything

Make sure that everything has been covered, and that nothing specifically important was left out. Lay it all out. Put everything to the test to see if everything was already taken into consideration. Take the initiative of bringing things out. Make sure you already have found a way to figure out every angle.

It is time already you be open to any feedback that comes your way; the more honest the feedback, the better.

Too often we meet people who do not necessarily agree with the way we see things; people who holds an entirely different perspective than we do. And you know what? It is just perfectly alright. It’s gratifying to associate with this people, and to understand them clearly, you need to demonstrate to them empathy.

As much as there are various ways to develop our communication skills, the key however lies only in a single principle: understanding people way before we judge them. If you wish indeed to improve your communication method, you only have to remember 3 basic things in addressing people’s need of empathy:

Lend your ears and understanding

Empathy is an intrinsic human value that is only made possible if you know how to lend your ears and to extend understanding. It takes wisdom to stand in other people’s views just as it takes great understanding to be able to demonstrate empathy. Empathy is putting yourself in other people’s situations even if you do not agree with their ideas and perspectives. It is lending them your ears even if you stand of the opposite sides of an issue. It is kindness at its best. And you do this by choosing not to pass judgement on the basis of appearance and circumstance.

You show empathy by conveying your intent of listening to their side of the story without prejudice, of extracting their most sincere perspective over an issue. And in the course of doing so, you carefully craft your responses with specific and authentic words of care and understanding. What makes empathy amazing is it does not reflect weakness to the one who practises it; rather, it makes the man transcend conventional wisdom. It can disarm people without a single hint of offense. It shatters the ugly defences to be replaced with utter security and trust. When you start listening to people instead of arguing with them, in the process you are winning them over to your side even without speaking a convincing argument. When you listen to people, you are in a sense telling them that you have a genuine intention, thus, your ideas are pure and worth knowing. And as you give them your full ears, only then that true understanding descends on your consciousness. This is the time when you start accepting them for who they are and not for what they stand for.

Value and accept them without prejudice

Respect is gained and not begged nor asked. When you value people and accept them without prejudice, they respect you for that. You associate with them and listen to their opinion and value it according to its potential. Everyone has something to offer, something to share, waiting only for the opportunity for someone to hear it out for what it is. Do not readily dismiss any idea that other people presents no matter how ridiculous it sounds for the moment. Rather, give time for it to blossom and take root. I remember I once worked with someone who sees thing differently than I do, but instead of responding in kind to his undesirable remarks, I made an effort to entertain his standpoint and accept him as he is. Overtime I realize that indeed his ideas are legitimate. By that time, we already have an agreeable working relationship because I was able to let him feel that I truly care.

Let them know the importance and value of what they do

Nothing is any more gratifying than knowing that what you do matters. People must be able to understand that they are making a difference; otherwise they will feel that they are aimlessly drifting in an unknown, and when they do not understand their own objective, their passion for work drifts apart as well. You have to be able to tap that inherent characteristic of a man to awake such passion when you tell him that he does something important. And in doing so, you should be able to determine which one works for one particular person. What you should evoke is the idea that their job holds great value for you and others.

However, an isolated circumstance may require an entirely different response. If you meet a chronically angry guy, all the empathy in the world might not work. The best thing is to turn your way to a different direction.

Do you talk in ambiguous general terms? Are your words stiff and without passion? Refrain from doing so because it will emanate in your actions. Your words will direct your life

There is nothing more that could change your situation than the power of your words. The quality of your thoughts and how you say it will impact your action. Mediocre talks results into a mediocre life, excellent words help make up an excellent life. So if you wish to be successful, start talking about success and never of defeat. It is the character of a man that sums up his being, and character is formed out of the thoughts that are harboured in the deep recesses of the mind. The thoughts you have will sooner or later become your habit and then out of habit will be the formation of your character. So if your thoughts are positive then apparently the words you speak are full of encouragement, of hope and possibilities. Your life is a mirror of your own mind. Before you can change your acts for the better, first purify your mind and your actions will automatically follow. Any task becomes possible when you say it is possible. Health and riches will be within your grasp if your words and your thoughts positively accommodate them. If your mind dwells on positive things, then positive things will happen to you; this is how life works, this is the law that governs it. Your body is only a servant of the inherent powers of your mind. If you say you are healthy, then indeed you are healthy; this may not necessarily be seen in the outward circumstance, but given enough time your actions will automatically be consistent to your thoughts and words.

Change your circumstances; start changing the context of the words you allow to come out of your mouth. Say:

Vibrant rather than ok

• Excellent rather than fine
• Superb rather than good

You could always transcend from being mediocre to being utterly successful by saying the words exactly the way you want it to happen.  This is the secret of some of the great men of history. They know how to declare words of power. You might find it helpful to learn some of the words that need changing:

Do not say “success will come someday”, rather, say “success follows me”. Declare it no matter the situation. Success is just a matter of consciousness and powerful declaration.

• Say “I’m strong now, I’ll pursue my dreams”, instead of “when I’m strong, I’ll pursue my dreams”. These are entirely two different statements. The first one is a precedent of success. It is the statement of recognizing your inner strength right now and to be able to put it to use to run after the deepest aspirations.
• Most people say “if you do this or go there, you will be successful”, but that is not necessarily true, in fact you change the statement to “wherever I am and whatever I do, I’ll be successful”.

Your life is defined by your inmost thoughts. Choose therefore your mindset and the words you speak, sooner or later you will start changing to become a better you.

Every time we say something we are not supposed to say, we either retract it or ask for an apology, and most often than not, a sincere apology will mend the damage all the hurtful words that have been said. Online communication, however, takes an entirely different rule. Words could easily be taken out of context.

Text messaging could really cause anyone unnecessary hurt when words are said and interpreted not originally intended, young people even termed it Text messaging Under the Influence (TUI).  Text messages with an angry or inappropriate context are readily sent to the recipient and then wished it should have never been sent. One worse scenario of TUI is when you say nasty words to someone else and then you mistakenly send it to your parents all just because you had the buttons mixed up in its usage. I will move this any further and change TUI into Tired and Emotional Typing (TET). TET is the inappropriate way of using text messaging in a business sense. Usually this happens when your emotions are experiencing an all time roller coaster wild ride.  Today, whatever idea or opinion you have, you can always make it known to all the people you knew simultaneously. This could really be a great idea that is if your statement is wholesome and helpful, but what if it’s a statement borne out of frustration? Imagine the number of people knowing your disappointments.

Communication in online web is a testament of human genius and superb ability. It is a good avenue to craft an ideal image and create a solid reputation, but it is a double edged sword that may also cause harm than good. This tool could work against you especially if your emotion lets you show your worst when provoked.

 I have seen it too often, people send off heated remarks, and then regret they have been a slave to their emotions. Here are some of the common pitfalls why online communication could get you in trouble:

Online, everyone is anonymous and that gives anyone an extra gut to throw nasty platitudes knowing that no one knows him

• It is so easy to say anything to anyone online without being answerable to anyone
• Anything can be interpreted differently. Even the things said with the best of intentions could be understood entirely in a different way.

Make it your own rule not to say anything when you are on the peak of your anger. Never send an online message with a context that you might regret saying later on. You do not even need to respond back in kind every time you get provoking comments. If you feel like the message you are about to send says something that do not entirely mirrors your usual character, better save it till morning. Only until when you are sure you are already in your usual self should you decide whether to send the message or not.

When you are in business, your every action is gauged in its appropriateness, even in simple tasks as answering the phone. You are expected to say your company name together with your usual greetings, and all the other means of communication should run in the same format. Just as your email profile, it has to make a clear message of what you do, in short to reflect the nature of your business.

Avoid the pitfalls of securing a business email address just out of necessity. Sometimes even the usage of the public and free domain of mail providers could work against your business’s advantage. When you wish to establish an email communication with your clients, make sure that they do not get the idea that you will not even bother to read their messages. This could really be detrimental to your business if you do not know how to handle it properly, and could really send your target customers to your competitors. Email communication is such a powerful tool; it is therefore worthwhile if you invest in it, because for all you know, its returns could really impact the growth and sustenance of your business.

When you receive an inquiry through email from a prospect, you might just as well pay attention to it as it deserves. Your appropriate and prompt response to a prospect’s inquiry could spell the future of your business. A late response to a query will do you no good and will only put a smudge on your business name. Customers need to feel important, and answering their queries on time could really win their trust and loyalty easily. This is something that you really should muse about. And when you reply, please answer their questions extensively, leave nothing out ambiguous. Spell out everything to them. Customers sure love to be fed with information so that they feel that they are important. You could even go beyond by offering to make a phone call if it should help them understand things clearly. That definitely won’t cost you a day to do these. And should it happen that you do not have ample information to answer their query, then tell them honestly and assure them that you will do your best to address the situation as soon as possible.
A prompt response to a customer’s inquiry is a sure way to get their heart. You could easily win them over and gain their trust and loyalty. This may require you to be attentive to your email all the time, and I believe this is not so hard to do especially these days; even phones now have specific features of which you may install software to make it to be able to receive emails. We live a world of far advanced technology; we can take advantage of these advances for the benefit of our businesses.